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Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Too attractive to work

Yesterday Mathew Wright (The Wright Stuff Channel 5) commented on a story about a woman that said that she was unable to find work , because she was too attractive.

I’ll let you into a secret”, he said, “she ain’t”. Later he added that the woman was
“delusional”.

My interest stirred, I decided to find out what lay behind the story, in particular what the woman herself had to say about the issue.

In an interview with ITV’s This Morning, Laura Fernee, explained that she had worked in a medical research lab between 2008 and 2011. At this point comments from work colleagues about her attractive physical appearance caused to resign from her £30,000 a year job.

Laura elaborated on the situation, explaining that the constant attention and "romantic gifts" left her "traumatized."

"In the end, as much as I loved my work, going in to work became very, very difficult because of the psychological impact on me," she said.

"I’m not lazy and I’m no bimbo," Fernee stated in another interview with The Daily Mail. "The truth is my good looks have caused massive problems for me when it comes to employment, so I’ve made the decision that employment just isn’t for me at the moment. It’s not my fault...I can’t help the way I look."
It was not only the attentions of men that caused her issues; women were problematic too.

Women said Laura, “assumed [that] because I was pretty, I was stupid, so didn’t take me seriously at first and, because of their own insecurities, were jealous of my looks.” She added that the women also got angry when they found out she was better at her job than they were.

Fernee is currently receiving financial support form her affluent parents.

This is not the first time we have blogged about [a woman complaining of] the negative affects of being attractive. See Samantha Brick.

 

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Too much hair

In this month’s article, I will recount a story that a concerned mother (a black woman) recounted to me .

At the end of the school day, her daughter (age 10) arrived at her car looking upset. The ensuing conversation went something like this:

What’s wrong”, she asked her daughter in concern.

“My games teacher said that I’ve got too much hair" (see picture), came the abrupt reply. The mother looked into her daughter’s tearful brown eyes.

“Too much hair?” she questioned taking in her daughter’s, long, thick, black curly hair. “Why did she say that”?

“My hair bobble came out during games and my hair got loose. When she saw my hair out she just said ‘you have too much hair.”

“What a stupid thing for your teacher to say”, the mother replied angrily. “You have beautiful hair.

“You don’t have too much or too little, you have exactly the amount of hair that you are supposed to have; it is supposed to look like it does. I am going to have a word with your teacher, how dare she say such a stupid and insensitive thing”.

Read article

 

Monday, May 13, 2013

Abercrombie & Fitch exclusionary

Image conscious clothing retailer Abercrombie & Fitch, is in the headlines yet again with its penchant for courting controversy. Eg. It had to pay £9000 compensation after losing a legal case brought by a student who wore a prosthetic arm, who claimed she was discriminated against for not conforming to the firm’s policy on staff appearance.

This time they have hit the headlines for their policy not to stock larger sizes.

In an interview with Business Insider, Robin Lewis author of The New Rules of Retail, said of Mike Jeffries ( CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch):

“He doesn’t want larger people shopping in his store, he wants thin and beautiful people….“He doesn’t want his core customers to see people who aren’t as hot as them wearing his clothing. People who wear his clothing should feel like they’re one of the ‘cool kids.’”

Lewis comments have their origins in a 2006 article (The man behind Abercrombie & Fitch by Benoit Denizet-Lewis) when CEO Mike Jeffries was quoted as saying:

“In every school there are the cool and popular kids, and then there are the not-so-cool kids.

“Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? …. Absolutely.”

In response Mike Jeffries stated on the company website:

“Diversity and inclusion are key to our organization’s success….We are determined to have a diverse culture, throughout our organization, that benefits from the perspectives of each individual.”

There is an online petition on Change.org with over 3,670 signatures; the objective of which is to pressure the company into changing its ‘no large sizes’ policy.

 

Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Helping others build their self esteem

Every now and again we get asked a question that we think is worth repeating here.

The question was asked by a 15 year old school girl, who wanted tips on how she could help build the self esteem of her friends and help them feel good about themselves.

We responded as follows:

Self esteem is a person’s sense of self-worth.

It relates to how much you value and accept yourself, how worthwhile you feel and the extent to which you feel loved and accepted by others.

Your self-esteem is strongly influenced by the experiences and relationships you’ve had in your life.

The best thing you can do is to show others how much you value them and how much they contribute to your happiness and to the happiness of others.

It's about letting them know that they are accepted unconditionally. That their worth is not determined by factors such as physical appearance, educational achievement, what they wear or what gadget they have. That they are acceptable and valued just they way they are.

In addition, she could also tell her friends about our 10 Positive Affirmations that are also aimed at helping individuals improve your body image and build self confidence.

 

Monday, May 06, 2013

19th and 21st Century Women

At the present moment, both my children are revising for their summer term assessments. While assisting my son with his history revision, about the Victorian Era, I was reminded of the book The Body Project: An Intimate History Of American Girls by Joan Jacobs Brumberg 1998.

Ms Brumberg looked at a number of diary entries scribed by girl’s in the nineteenth century.

Unsurprisingly, she discovered that the concerns of girls of the day, are very different to the issues that affect girls and women in modern day society.

"Nineteenth-century girls often noted in their diaries when they acquired an exciting personal embellishment, such as a hair ribbon or new dress, but these were not linked to self-worth or personhood in quite the way they are today... character was considered more important than beauty... And character was built on attention to self-control, service to others, and belief in God, not on attention to one's own, highly individualistic body project."

Firstly, I should note that today’s modern women have the vote (they can even be Prime Minister), can be financially independent, are equals in relationships and can decide whether or not they are going to have children. Social and political empowerment that their Victorian counterparts could only dream about.

In regard to what 19th century girls and women found important, it the emphasis at the time was on inner beauty; where the focus was on being virtuous, of good character and having a pure and kind heart.

I am certainly not saying that physical appearance did not have an important part to play e.g. Ms Brumberg's highlights the shift in attitudes about acne and complexion and documents how the beauty industry (targeting the middle-class) first influenced and then capitalised on appearance.

Today, the focus has shifted to valuing outer physical beauty much more and often more than inner beauty.

 

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Your body

Your body is truly remarkable.

Click on the infographic below to learn 18 amazing facts about your body.

http://mybodybeautiful.co.uk/Blog/images/HumanBodySmall.jpg
Source

Accept your body …. Respect your body… Love your body

After all, it is the only one you will every have!

 

Thursday, April 25, 2013

How we see ourselves

This Dove ad skilfully illustrates the difference between how women see their physical selves versus how others see them.

The ad shows an artist sketching several women (unseen) based on how they describe themselves. Next the artist draws the same women; this time the sketch is based on a stranger’s description of them.

The resulting perception based drawings of each individual women, self description opposed to a strangers recount, are very different.

The message is clear. People tend to judge themselves too harshly. It time we were a lot gentler and less judgemental with ourselves.

 

 

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

'Happy to be in the body you’re in'

We don’t do a ‘quote of the week’ post. If we did, this great self acceptance quote from Myleene Klass, talking to Star magazine, would be this week’s winner:

“I’m just not so hard on myself any more. When you get a bit older and wiser you’re actually just happy to be in the body you’re in. When I think of the pressures I put on myself when I was 22, I was always trying to look like someone else.”

Myleene added: “Some people equate success with thinness, whereas some equate it with being happy. I’m very happy right now.”

 

Friday, April 19, 2013

Body image questions and answers

In this article, we respond to a set of final year dissertation questions (11 in total) posed by a  journalism student studying at a Scottish university

 1) Given the amount of pressure women feel over their body image and appearance do you feel feminism remains a relevant cause in today's society?

For me, feminism is about gender equality. It is about improving the lives of girls and women, by advancing their social, educational, economic and political power; social justice in essence. It is also about giving females choices and empowering and equipping them to improve their overall situation.

In response to your question, I think feminism is still a very relevant cause. The pressures related to body image and appearance is clearly another huge issue that girls and women must face, adjust to and overcome.

Read Q&A

 

Monday, April 15, 2013

Diyet plan

In an article posted by Amy Cheney, she describes her dismay at finding a ‘Diyet ‘ [Diet] list in her 7 year old daughters bedroom.
The list included:

i) Permissible food:
    - ‘appals’
    -‘keewee’
    -‘yoget

ii) A set of exercises:
    -‘pooshups’
    -‘16 star jumps 2 time a day’
    -‘rid my bike 3 time a day’
    - ‘Jog/run up and down the driv way three times’.

‘Diyet. Jesus’; was Amy’s initial response. “I felt sick. Physically ill. Like someone had knocked the air from my chest”, she expanded.
Then the inevitable questions:

Where did she learn the word diet?
How does she even know what a freaking diet is?
Whose fault is this? …….

Knowing that she had to do something to try to nip any body image issues in the bud, Amy decided to speak to her daughter about the note.

During the conversation she learned that her daughter had got the idea about dieting from her friend; another 7 year old who was on a diet.

“I am not naïve”, Amy concluded. “I know this will not be the last time I talk about food and weight and bodies with my daughter. I am just ultra pissed that it had to start when she was seven”.

Article

 

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